![]() Looking forward to connecting and getting to know each other - Your neighbor.” This could very well start a beautiful relationship, but it might also feel a bit … intense. My pronouns are they/them and I’m avoiding COVID so I hope you’re not put off but please don’t show up unannounced or expect me to hang out indoors. Just imagine it: “Hello I don’t know you but I like your sign and assume it reflects your politics (at least I hope so!) and would like to be friends. But to make it a goal to find these friendships in people who live in specific homes in your neighborhood is to set yourself up for disappointment. You absolutely deserve friendships with people who you like, who like you back, who have good politics, who have good vibes, who know it’s no big deal to use your correct pronouns and respect whatever you need to do avoid getting COVID. You’re not overthinking, but I think you’re possibly over-expecting. I know I’m overthinking this all, but I would love your opinion, thoughts, scripts, or anything else you’ve got! If I send a letter, what would I say? Should I mention why I chose them to reach out to? Do I include our pronouns? Do I mention we are still adhering to COVID precautions and wouldn’t want people showing up unannounced? And if not a letter, what would be a better option? I’m not sure what is considered “normal” for meeting neighbors, because I grew up almost exclusively in apartments, and that always felt different since we’d mostly just meet people in passing in the hallways. My first instinct was to write them a letter (since we obviously would know the address) and introduce ourselves that way and include phone numbers/emails for contact, but I’m not sure what to include or if that would be weird. The problem is, I’m not sure how best to do this! Some complicating factors include: I’m agender and use they/them pronouns, which many people struggle with/are put off by, and our household is still taking COVID seriously, so we wouldn’t be up for unmasked meetings or people randomly showing up at our door. Is there anything else I could have done? I love my sister but she is driving me nuts. I know I was rather blunt, but she was like a dog with a bone in our conversations. She ended up kicking me out and currently isn’t talking to me. I told her she just proved her own point. My sister snapped she didn’t want to lead with any baggage like crazy baby mama drama. She was lying to these men by not being truthful right off the bat. ![]() After the umpteenth conversation, I finally told my sister she was setting herself up for disappointment. She dated one guy three weeks before revealing the truth. The ones she has liked got cold feet once she finally told them about her kids. She has been rather bitter about it and constantly complains how she can’t find any good men. ![]() Since then, my sister and I have both tried dating, but I have had far more success. Mine was relatively mild compared to hers since we didn’t have kids to quarrel over and force us back together in close quarters. My sister and I got divorced the same year. ![]() Can you-I realize this seems wild but stay with me-start a conversation with him? The fact that you seemingly can’t talk to each other and that you believe he would hide a major part of himself from you concerns me much more than his honestly pretty amazing-sounding vacation, the way he speaks, or the fact that he likes to look nice. What he says about himself, and how you feel when you hear it, is worth more. Again, I have absolutely no idea if you’re correct that he is “probably at least bisexual.” Your gut feeling is worth something. The only real red flag about your marriage here is that you are asking a random, probably-homophobic straight man, as well as me, a stranger, to weigh in on your husband’s sexuality. (And of course, not all gay or bi men have lisps!) Ask him to check with a dentist, ENT, or speech therapist if you’re concerned before accusing him of living a lie. New lisp: It’s unusual but not unheard of for an adult to develop one. Stripping while sailing and drinking beers with gay men: This strikes me as an activity that would be among the very last things someone who was gay and trying to hide it from his wife would do. Perhaps he’s just secure in his orientation and up for a good time? ![]()
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